Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Things That Go BUMP! In The Night

Bambina is scared of the dark and of toys coming alive. Not unusual I am sure for her age, but it got me thinking.....

What is the best way for us as parents to deak with her fears? Is there something we can do make her feel more secure?
At night, she prefers that I stay with her until she falls asleep. Initially I resisted this for fear of setting a pattern that I couldn't break in the future, but then it occurred to me. Was it really a problem? Did it really take anything away from me to take a few minutes to snuggle? Afterall, all that's waiting for me is washing up or folding laundry.
In all our efforts to have children who "self-settle",  go to bed at exactly 7pm every night and stay in their own bed until 7am (by the way is that even possible?), have we forgotten that these are little people with fears, hopes and questions? Are we losing a golden opportunity to truly connect with our children? In our rush to get back downstairs to all those tasks we've left until the children are "out of the way", do we miss out on hearing those fears, hopes and questions that are floating around in their minds just before they fall asleep?
Our bedtime routine now looks like this; after all the necessary ablutions and nightime prayer, I read to her and then we snuggle and talk until she drops off. This twilight snuggle time is when I get to hear what is really going on with Bambina and provides me with the chance to dispel fears, encourage hopes and answer questions.
All of this has gone a long way to making Bambina feel more secure. Yes there is still laundry to be folded, washing to be done and all the rest of it but none of those things are going anywhere. Bambinas childhood on the other hand is racing away. All too soon she won't even want me in her room!
So with a little adjustment in my priorities, bedtimes have become easy.
3am in the morning however is another matter! Oh well, it's a work in progress!


  1. Laundry and dishes and vacuuming are ALWAYS there. ::laugh:: But I agree! My youngest son has difficulties calming himself to fall asleep, and he falls out of bed numerous times each night. It's not uncommon with kids who have SPD to have these challenges at bedtime. Sometimes it's better for HIM to snuggle with me, falling asleep, and then be moved into his own bedroom. He's 7 1/2. I know that's a bit old for this stuff, but I don't see the harm because of his situation. Meeting their needs with understanding is just a positive! (Thanks for stopping by at Our Side of the Mountain!)

  2. Lovely to hear from you. "Meeting their needs with understanding". I like that.